I don’t join groups. At work, I thrive on grouping, but in social situations, I fare much better one-on-one. So when I got cancer, I didn’t go looking for a support group, I reached out instinctively to my friend.
I found the tumor myself, in the shower. I dried off and reached for the phone, at the same time. There was no question in my mind, the only person I wanted to talk to was Lisa. I’ve looked up to her and loved her since I was 15 years old, and she’s never not been there for me. That’s the support I needed. That’s the degree of love and commitment all of us need when we’re looking death in the teeth.
Maybe I’m wrong, but I believe everybody has at least one Lisa in his or her life. It’s the first person we think of, in an emergency. It’s not the person we’re supposed to reach out to, it’s the one we can’t stop ourselves from reaching for.
I envy anyone who can plunge into a group and get sustenance, with all those people looking on. It’s so intimate an experience that I’m not comfortable with an audience. So I support the all the support groups out there, with all my heart. But from a distance.